where to begin?

Who is God to you?

Who is He to me?

This question was asked by the pastor of last week's sermon, and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind since.

I mean, really, I don't have an answer half concrete.

Yes, He is my strength, my shield, my fortress, my deliver, my shelter, strong tower, righteousness, holiness, comfort, peace, healer, love, best friend, rock, grace, mercy, creator, saviour and so so much more.

He is my everything, but what do I really mean by that?

Is He really all of that to me?

Is He any of that to me?

Have I subconsciously or not put Him into a box and open the lid only when I want to?

I can say that He is so much but yet, it's really so little because I dont really know Him at all. Even though I've been to church for so many years.

Let's just start of by saying that He is my strength.

How so?

Does He give me the boost when I most need it?

Does He give me the strength when I'm all out?

Or perhaps, is everything I do by His strength alone already, yet I credit it to myself?

Or let's try something easier, maybe by saying Jesus is my best friend.

But if so, He must be the most unlucky best friend in the world because I don't even talk to Him on most days. Am I aware that He is even around?

It's like, how you would love to spend all the time in the world with someone close, and though He's with me all the time I barely spend anytime with Him at all.

What kind of a best friend am I then?

What a hypocrite I am!!

Have I been living my christian walk under an illusion? Trying to define God my way but totally missing out on who He really is?

If I were to start to really know Him, then I find that I know nothing at all.

Where do I begin?

Is this how I progress on to the next level?

The level where I seek God for who He really is?

It seems only logical, for were I to branch out from here I would really see the magnimity of what God is, and to know Him is an eternal process.

I can't keep stating vague terms anymore.

I can't keep saying He's my wisdom when I freely throw my knowledge regarding Him out the door.

I am going to slowly etch out what each term of what God is to me, for if I don't I will forever be living under a veil.

It's time to throw away all the hypocrasy and past illusions.

It's time to find God.

It's time to know Him.