The In Between

I'm back here again
I'm sitting on the fence
I'm trying to reach what's in front of me, what I want
Problem is, I think, once again
I'm grasping for what I cannot have
What doesn't want me back

Some call it paranoia
Others, a lack of courage of thereoff
For me, a mountain of fear
Or practicality as I'd like to lie to myself

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm supposed to do something;
Maybe I'm right, and I'm going to end up shamed once more
Interpretations are always so hard on this side
It blows to be the one having to 'do something'

I hate my assumptions;
They're always so wrong or too right
It cripples me the most, my barrage of thoughts
Yet it also is the only thing preserving my dignity or what little of it I possess

I wish I had time; I really don't
I wish I could figure things out; yet I never will
I wish I had more signs; and yet it makes it unfair
I wish it were easier, that for once I can grasp the one I want

Should I be halting, are my assumptions right afterall?
Should I stop and let another one pass; let you pass
Should I be taking a step forward
Or in so doing will I find myself two steps back

Something pops, making me wonder if this will make a difference
I hope it does, yet who am I kidding
But I just have to ask,
Is it me you're referring to?
If not, spare me my struggles and for once
Please, let me be the one to pass instead

Goodnight