Irony

Gosh.

I feel so stupid right now.

Dear Lord, why doeth Thou constantly slap me in the face and play with my heartstrings? Do thoust not knoweth that I am but a fragile being merely trying to be someone who waiteth on thee?

It's like everything right yet so wrong at the same time. Jingwei Vs Seth.

One desperately kicking me to look up. The other desperately kicking me to move my sorry behind.

Dear Lord, I see the plan so clearly, yet I do not see it at all.

"they shall be seeing but not perceiving..."

Defines me totally.

Okay let me start telling my story now.

Basically, this valentine was no different from any other.

Okay actually it was different, but in a worse way.

I SPENT VALENTINES NIGHT ALL ALONE THIS YEAR

Sorry I'm not that devastated actually, I just felt like making it bold for fun =)

Yes so I spent it all alone, not with my entire class like last year, not even with my parents or my bro cos they were all out!!

So sad right?

I had it all planned out. Every single thing I was going to do for the girl.

Yet when it came to the crux, be it a matter of unlucky timing or otherwise, I couldn't make it happen.

With the next day came another chance, but what Jingwei said got to me and I realised that I probably should wait because it's just...

AHHH I feel so stupid after reading =(

So anyway, that night after work I ta paoed food from Chomp Chomp and sat at home and ate by myself.

And now that I think about it, as I walked home from the hawker centre and just gazed up at the cool night sky with the wind blowing in my face and the stars dimly twinkling, I couldnt help but ponder to myself:

It's valentines day.

It's the day of love, or "irrational love for irrational reasons" as one of my friends put it so aptly.

But seriously, do we show that love on that special day to the one who cares for us the most?

Did we spend any time at all with God in the midst of all the flurry of the day, just to say "Dear God, I love you!"??

Do we have an irrational love back for Him who firsts irrationally loves us?

I want to have that love. I've always talked and thought about being totally foolish for Him, not caring what the world will think.

I guess I was wrong after all.

I wasn't alone on Valentines Day.

In fact, I spent it with the most awesome person ever.

Guess maturing really helps me keep a tight rein on my heartstrings.

Sorry to anyone who assumed I was happy frolicking with someone on valentines day! I didn't mean to fool you cos when I posted it I actually meant it back then.

Sorry to anonymous for bluffing you too, next time we go chill somewhere cool k?

Dear Lord, guess You were right after all.

P.S.: Thanks for the lovely job, it doesn't get much better than this and the vday mistake seems more like a blessing =)Love You Lord.